Kiss the Princess
by Cana-Puff
Summary: ZoLu, Luffy is a cross-dressing Prince who is celebrating his 17th birthday, when he has a curse put upon him. Zoro finds himself wanting to be Luffy's knight in shining armour. Parodies Sleeping Beauty. One Shot.


The Kingdom of Goa was having a celebration. It was always the most exciting celebration of the entire year, despite the fact that it only lasted one day. That was because it was the birthday of the Nation's treasure, the Princess of Goa Castle. Although Princess is merely a nickname, not a title; for it was in fact a _Prince_, known as Luffy, who was called that. Everybody called him Princess because of his quirks.

Ever since he was little, Prince Luffy liked to flounce around in extravagant dresses, sometimes accompanied by silken gloves, and always adorned with a silver tiara on top of his messy black hair. No one really knew why he did it, but King Shanks encouraged his behaviour. _That_ came as a surprise to nobody, since the King was always seen wearing feather boas or high-heeled boots or plumed hats. He told Prince Luffy to be who he wanted to be, and Luffy was more than happy to embrace the idea.

Now, at the age of 17 (just turned!), he still flaunted his dresses and jewellery, but he'd made it very clear to everyone in the castle that he was a boy, and one which loved getting rough and dirty in fights, no less. So, now they had a Princess who was a boy, and who even knows what their King was, but that was ok by the people in the Kingdom, because they were an accepting lot.

Currently, Luffy's birthday party had just started. People were holding street celebrations all over the place in his honour, but Luffy himself was up in the castle. Princess Vivi, Luffy's long-time friend, and her royal guards were the first to arrive as guests, and Luffy embraced her tightly when he saw her. Beside her, Pell and Chaka smiled warmly at the sight.

"Greetings, Princess Luffy. Are you excited about your birthday?" Pell asked. Luffy beamed at him.

"How could I not be?! I was just at the kitchens to oversee the food preparations and they chased me out because I just couldn't keep my hands off the meat!" He laughed.

Vivi giggled behind her hand as Luffy led her further in and to the grand hall where most of the people from the castle had already gathered.

Luffy raised his arms and yelled out to them in a loud voice, "Look guys! Vivi's here!" Vivi received friendly greetings from them and smiled in response, allowing Luffy to tug her into the centre to mingle with his friends. There, she saw some more of their friends.

Usopp was happy to greet them in his own excessive way. He was the son of one of the castle's greatest warriors, Yasopp. He was being taught by his father to be a great sharp-shooter, and while Usopp was eager to learn and had a great eye, he always refused to use a gun, or even a bow and arrow, instead preferring his slingshot (much to his father's chagrin and the King's amusement).

Also there, and looking distinctly more disinterested in Vivi than Usopp and Luffy had been, was Zoro. He was a knight of the castle, and not only that, but Princess Luffy's _favourite_ knight. He was often dragged away from training to play with Luffy. Despite it being annoying, Zoro always found it difficult to say no to the kid, and ended up having fun (not that he would ever admit to _that_).

"It's lovely to see you again, Zoro," Vivi greeted after Usopp had finished his rambling about running the secret organisation called the '_Shooting Star Squad_' where they apparently controlled every shootings star that you ever saw across the sky. Usopp was, of course, a big liar. It was one of Luffy's favourite traits about him.

Zoro, in response to Vivi's greeting, bowed and muttered, "You too, Princess Vivi." He got a punch in the arm for his efforts from Luffy.

When he looked at the Princess resentfully, Luffy took a deep breath and declared to the room, "New law! Anybody who bows on my birthday gets exiled from the castle for the rest of the day!" After his declaration, he looked over to the King for approval, and Shanks nodded, which was all Luffy needed. Someone ran off to make the law official (which might take longer than Luffy's birthday party, but it would still be in effect before then regardless).

Zoro looked a little put out, along with quite a few other people. They'd all had etiquette which included bowing at royalty engrained into them, which meant a lot of people were going to have nervous twitches whenever they saw somebody they should bow to for the rest of the day.

"Oh, Princess!" Called a friendly voice from the entrance. Luffy whipped around and brightened when he saw Robin, his tutor.

"Robin!" He ran up to her, hitching up his skirts so that he wouldn't trip on them (and revealing to all his guests that underneath his skirt he was wearing scruffy woven flip-flops instead of proper shoes).

"Princess, you should be greeting your guests!" She scolded upon his arrival. Luffy blinked and realised that a lot more people had arrived while he'd been preoccupied with his friends.

"Ah- Oops, you're right. Sorry, Miss Robin." He turned to attend to that right away.

There were a lot of guests he didn't know. There were strange looking guests who reminded him of Shanks – wearing feather-adorned outfits and strutting around regally – and some who looked more like commoners, and then there were people who didn't want to take of their cloaks. Maybe it was because their faces were so strange, Luffy considered. One of them, after all, seemed to be trying to cover up a tribal tattoo over one side of his face (but Luffy saw it, so he wasn't doing a good job), and another one had a strange beard which looked like a Pharaoh's beard. Or maybe a mushroom.

Once Luffy thought that enough people had arrived, and it was past the official time written on the invitations sent out, he went up to the Orchestra (lead by Mr Brook, a fun guy who Luffy thought looked like a skeleton because of his gaunt cheeks and spindly limbs) and ordered them to start playing music. They happily obliged.

Luffy skipped back into the centre of the grand hall and to his group of friends, which had risen in the time he had been gone, to include Sanji, a chef in training who was better than most of the actual chefs they had, Nami, who worked on a farm and would sometimes come to the castle to deliver her prized mikans, and her dog, Chopper, and Franky. Luffy wasn't sure what Franky did in the castle, but he often had a toolbox with him, so Luffy suspected it had something to do with fixing things which were broken. Ace had also graced them with his presence, and Luffy was excited about that because he hardly saw his big brother (not related by blood).

"So?" He prompted, "Which one of you gentlemen wants to dance with me?" He looked at each of them. Sanji was eyeing Nami, who was purposefully giving attention to her dog, and he knew that Usopp had two left feet, even if it was a lot of fun dancing with him on normal days.

Franky was monstrously big and would Luffy didn't even come up to his chest, so they'd make an odd couple. That only left one person (or rather, the one person he really _wanted_ to dance with).

"Zoro!" Luffy cheered, holding out his hands. "Let's hit the dance floor together!" He demanded. Zoro looked at him in surprise, his cheeks noticeably more pink. Zoro was such a shy guy deep down, he just didn't want to admit it!

"I'm not really much of a dancer," He admitted. Luffy knew that wasn't true; he'd seen the guy's footwork while he was training with his swords, but he tried not to look too put-out and nodded wisely.

"Yeah. You're right. Obviously…" He looked around.

"Little brother, I'm happy to step up an—" Ace began. Luffy cut him off mid-setence.

"My ideal dance partner is Chopper!" The big dog looked up at him when he heard his name called. Luffy beckoned for him to come over by patting his thighs. Chopper excitedly put his paws up on them and Luffy took them in his hands, and begun to dance, looking goofy pulling the poor dog along, who scrabbled his hind-legs behind him in his attempts to keep up. On the other hand, by the way his tail was wagging and his tongue was lolling out, he was having a good time.

In contrast, Ace looked rather put out, and Luffy was sure that if he had a tail, it would be drooping on the floor dejectedly. That was, until he saw his friend Marco, and went to greet him instead.

When Chopper got bored, he dropped back to the floor and returned to Nami, who gave him attention and muttered about Princess getting away with mistreating dogs just because they were Princesses. Luffy didn't catch it though, and was happy.

Instead of finding someone else to dance with, he went to the buffet table which was laden with meat. Sanji had personally made sure there was an entire section dedicated to Luffy's appetite and love of meats. Luffy didn't disappoint, piling a plate high with meat and digging in happily.

"You know those are _appetisers_, right?" Zoro asked from behind him. Luffy looked around and smiled, nodding.

"And I have a large appetite, which means dinner alone won't satisfy me, so I need these as like an extra!" He explained. Zoro snorted softly and shook his head. Luffy offered him a chicken leg. He looked like he wanted to accept, but refused politely instead, pushing Luffy's hand away.

"How are you enjoying your birthday party, Princess?" He asked instead. Luffy finished chewing his mouthful (he was a Princess, after all; he had _some_ manners), before replying.

"It's great! All the people I like are here, and I have a bunch of birthday presents and I don't even _know_ some of the people here, but apparently there are Dukes and Lords and other kinds of nobles, which is so cool because I've only met some of those!" His eyes shined excitedly.

"That's a surprise," Zoro commented. Luffy shrugged.

"I like seeing everybody again," He said as he looked around and picked out the friends he rarely saw because they were from another part of the kingdom, or another kingdom entirely. Zoro nodded, glancing around offhandedly.

They continued to mingle and dance and snack until it was time for the royal banquet. The unbelievably long table was laden with food, and Luffy sat at the head of the table, in the grand seat which was usually reserved for King Shanks. Instead, today, he sat in Luffy's significantly smaller seat and let Luffy be the centre of attention for the time being.

Luffy was supposed to deliver a speech before they ate, so he sat up and stared at the cards with notes on them he wrote about his speech. That was, except he remembered that he couldn't think of what to say, so instead of making notes, he'd doodled pictures of his family.

He blinked at the drawings, which weren't as good as they had been when he first did them, and regretted not writing something proper. He looked over to Ace, who was on his left, for help, only to find that he'd fallen asleep on his place. Since help wasn't coming from his left, he looked right, towards Shanks.

"Shanks… I forgot to write a speech. And I'm hungry," He added as an afterthought. Along the table he could hear muffled snorts from his friends and family and nervous chuckles from the guests who were invited to improve relations with other countries and weren't familiar with Luffy's quirks.

Shanks gave Luffy a half amused, half disapproving look. "Make something up, then," He instructed. Luffy took a moment to think about this before nodding.

He turned to face everyone again, bowed his head momentarily and muttered in a monotonous voice, "Thank you for coming. To celebrate my seventeenth birthday. Thank you for the food. Let's eat." Then he plopped back down in his seat and looked expectantly at the servers to start dishing food onto his plate.

Shanks laughed and sent a grin at him, "Well said." Then he spread his hands to indicate everybody, and continued, "Tuck in!" At the king's words, everyone was put at ease, after the confusion of the Princess' speech, and soon the sound of jovial chatter and the clatter of cutlery on fine china filled the air. Ace had woken up just after Luffy's speech ended and cheered at the prospect of food.

"Ace, look! I put you in my speech!" Luffy told Ace as he showed him the cue-card which had the words 'Thank' and 'When' crossed out at the top (obvious attempts to start a speech) and a bad doodle of (apparently) Ace. Still, he beamed and accepted it when Luffy offered it to him and slipped it into his pocket.

"Thank you, Luffy. I see your art skills are as bad as ever. Has your art teacher not ripped out her hair yet?" He asked. Luffy giggled and shook his head.

"I drew Zoro, too," He pointed out, "And everyone else!" 'Everyone else', it turned out, was stick-figures standing in a messy line. Ace snorted and pointed at Luffy's plate.

"Eat up, little brother. I shouldn't have to remind you, not with your appetite."

"Ah! Right!" Luffy's hand flew to his meat before Robin, who was hovering around the table, slapped it away. Luffy rubbed it and looked up at her resentfully before picking up cutlery and eating his food properly. Robin gave and approving nod and Luffy sulked for a few moments before turning back to Ace and pointing at the row of stick figures dubbed 'Everybody else'. "I've changed my mind. It's everybody _except _Miss Robin."

Ace couldn't help but laugh at Luffy's immaturity. "Right, not Robin." They continued eating their food and joining in with excited conversations.

Luffy wasn't sure if he should be disappointed or not that Brook was up on stage playing music instead of down at the table and hanging out with everybody else. He supposed the good music made up for it. Plus most of his friends were a little too far down the table for him to hold a proper conversation with them anyway and it would probably be the same for Brook if he was there.

"You know, Luffy," Ace started up again. Luffy looked up at him curiously. "Now that you're 17, you seriously need to start thinking about dating. You're the rightful heir to the throne, you know."

"But Ace…" Luffy gave him a wide-eyed look, "I don't _like_ any of the people from the other kingdoms, and you know Shanks wants me to marry some Princess for the sake of an alliance, but the only Princess I _like_ is Vivi, but I don't _like-like_ her," He explained, frustrated. Ace patted his shoulder in sympathy.

"But do you like-like _somebody_?" He asked curiously. Luffy, for his part, went pink and shook his head, eyes floating up to stare at the high decorated ceiling, and hands clacking his knife and fork together. Ace shook his head and sighed in amusement. "Luffy, I can read you like a book."

"What does _that_ mean? I don't, you know!" Luffy was a terrible liar, but that never stopped him from trying. Ace decided to drop the subject for now.

Once the banquet was finished, and all the food was eaten (if somebody had leftovers, the waiters would pass the dishes over to Luffy, who would eat anything) and everyone was satisfied, there was a loud chime of a spoon against a glass which attracted everyone's attention.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Sanji, who was in his best clothes, was pushing a cart towards the head of the table. On the cart rode a massive tray with an equally massive domed lid on it. It was taller than Sanji was and made seeing where he was going difficult. That didn't stop him, though, and he parked it right next to Luffy, in between him and Shanks. "Every birthday needs one thing to be absolutely complete…" He said gracefully, hands grasping the handles of the lid. He lifted and carefully removed it so that the rim didn't clip the contents of the tray. "…A perfect birthday cake!"

The cheer that came from the table was mostly from Luffy, as his gleeful shouts covered everyone else's voices. He stood up, grabbing the large knife sitting on the cart. Sanji winced slightly at how carelessly he was waving that thing around. If he wasn't careful, he could lose an eye like that.

Then Luffy slowly and dramatically pierced the cake with the knife, pushing all the way down from the top to the bottom tier of the monstrosity, in a perfect slice. The crowd at the table cheered again and Sanji took the knife from Luffy (who looked mildly disappointed at being separated from his sharp new toy, much to Sanji's concern) and cut him a proper slice of cake from the cut he'd made first and presented it to him on a fancy china plate. Luffy beamed and nodded his head in thanks as people started crowding around to receive their own slices at Luffy's non-verbal invitation. The music from before started up again and the happy chatter resumed with it. Luffy tried to track down his friends, but it was difficult finding them in the crowd. He considered standing on the table to see if he could stop Zoro's noticeable green mop of hair, but decided against it.

Instead, he squeezed through bodies and looked around until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Thinking it was one of his friends, he turned around with a big grin on his face, but it faltered slightly when he saw it was one of the cloaked men from earlier. It was the one with the strange mushroom-chin that he greeted right before running off again.

"Hallo?" Luffy asked, smiling pleasantly and swaying slightly to the beat of the music.

"Hello, Princess," The person said. He didn't have a dark, secretive voice, like Luffy thought he would. Instead, it was cheerful and light-hearted. Yet in spite of that, something about this guy set off a warning bell or two in his head. It was the fact that he was wearing a cloak, which was what creeps did.

"Hi. Who are you?"

"Me? I'm an entertainer."

"Really?!" Luffy exclaimed, all previous misgivings forgotten in favour of excitement.

"Yes, really! Would you like to see what I can do?" He asked. Luffy nodded eagerly. Maybe this was an entertainer which Shanks or Ace had hired for him! But why wouldn't they say anything? And what was with the cloak? The man reached into said cloak and produced a disk on a string.

"What's that?"

"It's part of my party trick," The man explained. Luffy watched it in wonder. "Now," The man said, clearing his throat. "When I say 'Jango', you will fall asleep forever, until your true love wakes you up with a kiss."

Luffy's face fell. What kind of crappy trick was that? And what did it mean? The uneasy feeling returned, but the man started swinging the disk back and forth, and Luffy's eyes automatically followed it. The man used his free hand to cover his eyes with heart-shaped, red-tinted glasses.

"One… Two… Jango!" On the last word, Luffy felt a pull at his mind. It happened in an instant. His brain functions decided to just shut down and send him off to sleep, and he tipped forward. He was unconscious before he even hit the ground. The grip on his birthday cake plate loosened and the plate hit the ground with a loud smash.

The noise attracted everyone in the area. Sanji whipped around, ready to berate whoever had damaged property and possibly wasted food, when he saw Luffy lying sprawled on his front. Others had noticed as well, and were forming a space around Luffy and gasping in horror and surprise. Shrieks of "Princess!" and "Luffy!" were heard and now everyone was looking.

"LUFFY!" Ace screamed and shoved past people to get to him. Shanks was hurrying after him. While Ace threw himself onto his brother to try to see if he was okay, Shanks stopped the man in the cloak from going anywhere by grabbing his wrist.

"You. What did you do to him?" His voice was deadly calm and sent a ripple of shudders through the crowd.

"Me? Just showing him a simple party trick," The man said, grinning. Shanks scowled and ripped the hood off his head. There were more horrified gasps as people backed away.

"Jango," Shanks hissed. "What are you doing here, and my precious Princess's party? I'll give you five seconds to come up with a good reason for me not to run you through with my sword right now." Similarly, Zoro had drawn two of his swords and was standing between Jango and the crowd threateningly. Next to him, Sanji was holding the sharp cake-knife. A little way away, Usopp was crouched on the table with his slingshot to get a good shot.

"Relax, he's just asleep," Jango grinned. "And asleep he'll stay, so you might as well cut that out," He directed his second comment to Ace, who was yelling Luffy's name and trying to shake him awake.

"Put him back to normal!" Ace demanded. Jango smirked.

"But he'll go back to normal by himself. Well, that's not _entirely_ true. He'll wake up… Once he's received his true-love's kiss." Jango laughed before whipping out his disk again. Shanks pulled his arm away when the sharp blade swung towards it, instead putting it on the hilt of the sword he kept on his belt.

"Why would you do this?!" He demanded.

Jango grinned, "Because he's a Princess. Isn't that the reason _any_ Princess is targeted?"

"But…he's not _really_ a Princess, he's a Prince!" Shanks countered desparately.

"Hey, hey. He says he's a Princess, so he's a Princess," Jango said, holding up a hand, "If that's how he identifies, you should respect that." Then he paused and shook his head, wondering why on _earth _he was defending the very Princess he'd knocked out. "But I digress," Jango quickly got back on track. He begun to swing the blade side to side, and said loudly, so that everyone could hear, "ONE… TWO…"

"Everyone, he's a hypnotist! Look away!" Shanks ordered, shutting his own eyes. Everyone else did the same, covering their eyes or turning away entirely.

"JANGO!" And with a loud bang, he was gone.

Looking back, Shanks had to keep himself from screaming in outrage. Instead, he turned to Ace, who was cradling Luffy in his arms.

"_Why_, though?" Ace asked, for lack of anything better to say. "Why _my_ little brother…? Shit, shit…!"

"Okay, calm down. This party is officially over," Shanks said. "Family and close friends alone may stay." The crowd uncertainly started to disperse, looking around at each other.

Zoro was immediately at Ace's side, swords re-sheathed and looking at Luffy forlornly. Sanji had gone up to his smashed plate and looked at the uneaten, _important _first birthday cake slice, slightly squished with shards of china embedded in it. Nami and Usopp scooted closer but still unsure about whether it's ok to get close or not. Brook and Franky kept a slight distance, not sure what to do or say. Chopper scuffled up to Luffy's hand and whined, sniffing at him.

Nami scooped Chopper into her arms and petted him with a sigh. "I guess we know what this means," She said solemnly. Ace gritted his teeth, not wanting to hear it. "...We need to find his true love."

"How the _hell_ can I let some perverted strangers kiss my baby brother while he's _asleep_?!" Ace demanded, red in the face. "That's sexual harassment, I won't stand for it!"

"But if you don't, he'll _never_ wake up!" Nami yelled back.

"We could try wafting food under his nose," Usopp suggested quietly. Everyone ignored him.

Shanks rubbed his face and exhaled heavily. "…We have no choice. On the other hand, when he wakes up, he'll be seeing his true love."

"But…how would he _know_ if it was his true love or not? I mean, I think he has a crush on someone, but he wouldn't tell me who it was. And it might not even be his true love!" Ace lamented.

"In the meantime," Zoro interrupted, standing with Luffy cradled in his arms, "Let's get him into a bed. I know I hate waking up after sleeping on the floor and finding a crick in my neck."

Sanji, who had come back to the group after cleaning up the mess and putting the cover back over the cake, side-eyed Zoro and muttered, "I should've known you'd say something stupid like that."

"What?!" Zoro demanded, "It's true!"

"Whatever, moss-head."

"Damn pervert-cook! You can bet _your_ mouth is gonna be one of the ones which stays as far from Luffy as possible while he's in this state!"

"I don't want to kiss him anyway! I'm _straight_!"

Ace was trying to rescue his poor brother from Zoro's tightening grip.

Eventually, they'd gotten Luffy into his bedroom at the top of his personal tower, which was located in the west wing. When Zoro had grumbled about stereotypes of Princesses and towers, he received a kick from Sanji and a smack from Ace, who really just wanted to take his frustration out on someone.

"So? Are we gonna call on all the Princes in the land to give our Luffy a big wet one?" Nami asked, a finger pressed to her chin in thought, "…Or since he's really a boy, do we call on the Princesses? What preference does he have, anyway?"

"He never said, but I reckon he's into men," Shanks said, nodding decisively.

"Maybe he's not into anybody!" Ace said loudly, "Maybe he just never found men _or _women that great, so he's just sort of… Asexual?"

"Quit kidding yourself," Sanji said with a consoling pat on Ace's shoulder, "While I agree that it kind of seems like just isn't interested in that stuff sometimes, we need him to like one of them so that he can wake up."

Ace gazed gloomily at him before sighing and nodding. He supposed he should just be a good big brother and narrow down the candidates so that they didn't get any sleaze-bags trying to feel Luffy up. The thought that he could still help cheered him up slightly, and he gestured to the stairs.

"Okay, shall we start contacting people then?" There were general murmurs of agreement as everyone started heading down the spiral staircase.

"While we're at it," Nami spoke up, "We should get Vivi to kiss him while she's still here. I mean, she's a Princess, and she's known Luffy a long time. There's a possibility…" She made motions with her hands. Shanks nodded in agreement.

"Worth a shot, but I doubt she's really interested in Luffy that way either."

As it turned out, when they got Vivi to kiss him, nothing happened, and they weren't true loves. Vivi told them that was to be expected, and unless they wanted Kohza to try too (said with narrowed eyes), it was time she took her leave because she'd been away from her castle for too long, and good luck with the Luffy problem by the way.

And then that was it for close royalty friends they knew of. Then it was time to start contacting other kingdoms and having them send people of royal status, and their best kights, in Luffy's age range, who Ace deamed 'Suitable enough, given the circumstances'. The rest were certain that under normal circumstances, _nobody _would be suitable.

Zoro, for his part, didn't stay with the rest of the group. Instead he stood guard outside of Luffy's bedroom with his arms folded, looking very much the part of royal guard. He intimidated a lot of people away, and had decided that anyone who was cowardly enough to flee at the sight of him was no worthy of being Luffy's true love. He never moved from his spot except to go to the bathroom, and sometimes Sanji would bring food up for him, grumbling about shitty swordsmen and their shitty determination ruining their health.

As the days went by and with no results from the suitors, Ace was starting to get desperate. He didn't know much about curses, but he was certain that one as crippling as to put Luffy in an induced coma would not be so accommodating to his body, which meant he wasn't eating properly, or using his muscles. Every so often, he'd stop by to move Luffy's limbs around so that they wouldn't seize up or…something. He wasn't sure why, but it was what the doctor instructed him to do.

From his place outside the bedroom door in the tower, Zoro had a lot of time to himself to think. He thought about the fact that Luffy had been cursed before he'd had his birthday cake, or opened his birthday presents, or any of that stuff he should have been able to do. It was frustrating to think about, and Zoro found himself feeling gloomy the more he pondered the subject.

He'd never seen Luffy so absent of life in all the time he'd known him. Luffy was always running around in that puffy skirt of his, laughing about something or other, stealing food from the kitchens, and challenging Zoro to spar with him. Even when he slept, he normally tossed and turned and murmured stuff under his breath. Occasionally, he even sleepwalked (but never got very far, because sleepwalking Luffy couldn't work out how to operate the door handle). So he was always active. Not like this. Never like _this_.

There was also something else which had been bothering him. A few years ago, he'd started to develop a bit of a crush on the young Princess, despite his cross-dressing tendencies (which were most definitely Bon Kurei the fight instructor's fault). It was his carefree nature which drew Zoro in and made his heart speed up excitedly. Sometimes Luffy would do something stupid like grab his wrist to pull him somewhere, and Zoro's insides would squirm. It almost hurt, the feelings Luffy evoked in him, but it was a good kind of hurt which Zoro wanted to feel over and over.

Then there was this damn "true love's kiss" thing. Zoro couldn't help but think that he wanted to have a go and kiss Luffy to see if he woke up, but if he didn't, it would be like a slap in the face. A rejection which Luffy wouldn't be aware of. It made his insides scrunch up, and definitely not in the _good_ way.

On the other hand, what would it mean if he _did_ turn out to be Luffy's true love and he woke up? Zoro liked that thought. Actually, he just liked the thought of kissing Luffy in general, but he'd kind of hoped that if he was going to kiss him, Luffy would be awake for it, at least.

And hadn't anyone considered the idea that this Jango guy was lying to them? Zoro was suspicious of that guy…

He wasn't even sure if he would have kissed Luffy in the first place, though. The thought was too nerve wracking. Luffy might be a happy-go-lucky idiot, but he wasn't immune to other emotions. Zoro could potentially ruin their friendship (_God, way to play into the hands of a cliché, Zoro_, he scolded himself), and if he _did_ ruin their friendship, his life as a knight of the castle would be over and he'd have to go somewhere far away to avoid Luffy and the shame of what had happened.

This was all hypothetical of course. Zoro shouldn't be burdening himself with hypotheses when he should be thinking of the more important matters of the present. All the same, he found himself peeking into the room curiously. There was Luffy, lying prone on the bed, surrounded by decorative throw pillows which Shanks had insisted Luffy have in order to make him look more Princess-y. They'd switched his fancy ballroom dress for something which Zoro thought looked like a fancy night gown, which suited Zoro, because it showed off Luffy's figure.

Luffy's figure…It was _perfect_ in Zoro's mind, because even though Luffy was a Princess, he had a very manly look, lithe and muscular, with big man-feet and a flat, slightly toned chest. That was what Zoro liked, over petite girls with round hips and round chests which looked so brittle that they'd snap if Zoro held them too hard. Luffy would never break. He would bend, because Luffy was extremely flexible, and Zoro knew this because he'd watched Luffy do his warm-up exercises before training, and Zoro may have found himself having to pick his jaw up off the floor every now and then.

Back to the present, even in a cursed sleep, Luffy had mussed hair and limbs at odd angles and was snoring worse than a pig. Zoro's lips curled into a small smile he hardly let anyone see as he approached the sleeping form and reached forward to wipe a stray strand of drool which had been making its way down the Princess' chin. His fingers hesitated much longer on the boy's lips than they should have, and he mentally smacked himself for having such a weak will. But he couldn't help it, they were thin and such a light pink that they almost blended into his skin, and were open in just such a way that Zoro could see his two front teeth.

_Ugh, why must you torture me so?_ Zoro asked himself mentally (Or perhaps it had been his dick talking, for it had stirred in his pants when his mind wondered too far with those lips). Zoro had had fantasies. He'd fantasized about Luffy when he was in the shower, when he was lying in bed in the middle of the night, when he was watching the Princess, shirtless, training and working up a sweat.

"Fuck," He muttered to himself, realising he was fantasizing again. "You know, I really want to…but I just can't bring myself to, in case…" He muttered to Luffy's unconscious form, rubbing the rosy cheek with a thumb. "You know, if I was gonna…I wish you'd be awake." Despite what he was saying, his head was drifting closer to Luffy's head; dangerously close.

"On the other hand, you're a very forgiving person…" His thumb moved down to brush over Luffy's lips, feeling the warm breath breeze over his hand. His face was perhaps twenty centimetres away from Luffy's; just enough that he could still see the whole of Luffy's face. "And I don't want anyone else having a go at kissing you, especially when you're in this state…" He exhaled softly before pulling his head and hand away entirely.

"But I can't." He stood up to go outside when he heard a noise from the doorway.

"_Don't stop now!_" A voice stage-whispered. Zoro's head snapped in that direction. Nami and Usopp were poking around the doorframe, grinning like idiots, and he could just see Sanji's stupid yellow head coming up the stairs.

"_What'd I miss?_"

Zoro gawked at him before his face went red in embarrassment and fury.

"_He found us_," Usopp whispered back to Sanji, jerking his thumb in Zoro's direction. Sanji looked up at him and smirked.

"_That's a pity, now he'll never—_"

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WHISPERING?!" Zoro screamed at them, tossing one of the abundant throw pillows in their direction. Sanji kicked it back before it could make impact.

"Gee, just trying to give you the illusion of privacy," Nami muttered, accompanying it with a giggle. Zoro huffed and folded his arms.

"Piss off, why are you even _here_?" Zoro demanded.

"We're here," Sanji explained in a voice which sounded like he was talking to a child, "To watch you kiss him. Obviously. Anyway, don't stop."

"I didn't know you were into that kind of thing, pervert-cook," Zoro countered. Sanji went pink and glared, but didn't march into the room to kick Zoro up because Nami held onto the back of his shirt and he went into adoring mode. "Anyway, I can't."

"Oh, yes you can," Nami said impatiently. Zoro scowled at her.

"I _said,_ I _can't_," He repeated, frustrated. He'd already been through this in his head. He couldn't bring himself to do it.

"If you do, I'll wipe your debt completely clean!" Nami suggested in a sing-song voice. Oh, Zoro had forgotten about her swindling ways. She hadn't charged him for anything for a while now, for some reason.

"Tempting, but you can't just bribe me into kissing him…" Zoro said, staring down at Luffy's face. His sweet, innocent face. Which had started drooling again. Zoro remembered the reason he'd touched Luffy's in the first place, and hesitantly raised his hand to wipe it clean again. He could almost hear his audience sucking in an excited breath, but he was too distracted with Luffy to care about that.

Trembling slightly, he wiped Luffy's chin clean, then reached his hand up to brush some stray locks of mussed hair out of Luffy's eyes, biting down on his lower lip. One kiss couldn't hurt. It was just a kiss. Like kissing someone goodnight after they'd already fallen asleep. Letting out a shaky breath, he leant over Luffy's face, hovering his mouth barely a centimetre over the boy's.

_Nothing for it_, he thought, and dipped forward to kiss Luffy properly. It, perhaps, wasn't as exciting as he was expecting it to be, which was probably because of the fact that Luffy was still dead asleep and couldn't do anything like respond (Or push him away, he thought to himself).

"_Made it in time!_" A new voice cheered in a quiet voice. Zoro jerked up in shock, staring at the doorway.

"Y-Your highness!" Indeed, Shanks was there, leaning on the wall just outside the room and smirking right at Zoro. When their eyes met, he waved slightly. Zoro would have said something more (though he wasn't sure what he could possibly say in this situation) when a quiet groan sounded from underneath him. Looking down, he watched Luffy roll over and bury his head in one of his throw pillows. Zoro's heart leapt for many reasons.

"Five more minutes…" Luffy muttered tiredly. Nami and Usopp started whooping and clapping. Sanji smirked and lit a cigarette, puffing on it.

"You've been asleep for far too long, no lie-ins."

Shanks would have had some sort of reaction if Ace hadn't barged past him, looking very conflicted. He looked like he wasn't sure whether to be delighted that Luffy had woken up, or furious that Zoro had just kissed little brother, _and_ turned out to be Luffy's true love.

Wait…

Luffy woke up when Zoro kissed him.

Because Zoro was Luffy's _true love_.

"L-Luffy…" Zoro started to say, though he wasn't sure what to follow it with. He just wanted to ask about what Luffy felt towards him, but he was cut off by Ace streaking into the room quicker than the speed of light, and gripping Luffy in his arms.

"Luffy! How are you feeling?! Are you hungry? You still need to eat your birthday cake!" He cried overdramatically. Zoro's facial expression came dangerously close to a pout.

"Ah…" Luffy looked at Ace in confusion. "What happened?" His voice was slightly slurred with sleepiness. "There was this guy with a mushroom chin, and he swung a circle in front of my face, and then I had a _wonderful_ dream, with pirates, and dragons, and giant children, and Zoro was there, and—" His eyes widened and he turned to look at Zoro. "You kissed me!" His tone sounded accusatory.

"Ahh—what?" Zoro could practically feel beads of cold, nervous sweat trickling down his neck.

"You kissed me! Not in the dream, you actually did! Zoro, why didn't you _tell_ me you like me! I had _no_ idea!" He laughed slightly, as though this was a funny matter. Zoro floundered.

"Well, I—you were under a curse, and I thought—" He faltered, unsure of what to say.

"Whatever!" Luffy beamed and gave Zoro a kiss on the cheek, "That means we both like each other!"

Ace seemed to have a spasm, toppling to the floor in his grief. "I knew it!" Luffy looked down at him and laughed.

"What's up with you? It's just Zoro!"

"…You're right. I guess out of all the suitors who showed up, Zoro's the only one I wouldn't really mind you getting together with," Ace admitted, still not looking very pleased. He wished his little brother could stay a cute, innocent, cross-dressing Prince for the rest of Ace's life, but he knew that was impossible. When Luffy grew up, he had to be King (Queen?), and needed someone to love. Except the whole point of that is so that they could have heirs, and if they were both men…Ace shook his head; this whole thing was too confusing for him.

"So—wait, so you—" Zoro tried again. His face was pink and he had a hand clapped over the spot which Luffy had kissed before. Luffy turned his attention to him and grinned, giving him a hug.

"You can be my Queen, Zoro!"

"I—what? I thought _you_ were going to be the Queen. You know, you're the one who wears the dresses," He tried to reason.

"Don't be silly, Zoro. I want to be _king_!" Luffy laughed, "I'll just be a King in a dress, and you can be a Queen in pants!"

Zoro stared harder before letting out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. "I don't understand you at all," He admitted. Luffy grinned, pleased with himself.

"So, uh… Can I have my birthday cake now?"

"But Luffy!" Nami piped up from her place at the doorway, grinning slyly, "It's not your birthday anymore! You're going to have to wait another year for a birthday cake again."

"Wh-What?" Luffy asked, eyes growing wide and round. "No cake?" He looked at Sanji with his large puppy-dog eyes. Sanji took one look at them before completely giving in.

"Your old one went stale, but I can make you a new, better one!" He said, already rolling up his sleeves to get started. Luffy brightened and looked at Zoro and Ace excitedly. Ace ruffled his hair and Zoro folded his arms, still pink in the face.

"…Happy Belated Birthday, anyway, Luffy." He said gruffly. Luffy beamed and threw his arms around him. Shanks, from his place at the door, smiled and made to leave.

"I'm glad you're alright, Luffy. And I'm also glad you've found yourself a Queen. You _are_ at that age after all!" He laughed and left, leaving Luffy to snuggle Zoro's arm, and Ace to coddle his darling little brother.

**A/N – and the end! My longest (published) story yet, pat on the back to me. I've been working on various multi-chaptered stories in the meantime, and one is a crossover between One Piece and Bleach. So that's a thing.**

**I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you review.**


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